Luck ... By Chance!

I will echo a lot many others who have seen this movie...

I loved, loved, loved the movie!

And it was the perfect setting for me too. I went with a friend and her sister to watch it in one of the AMC's on a week night. Almost empty parking lot, almost empty theater. There was only three of us, and then three more people joined later. Nice people, quiet as mice, with no crackly candy wrappers, no cell phones ringing, no kicking my seat. And hopefully they did not mind the three girls giggling away to glory!

Blisss!!!

Will not go into the story line of course. So will list out a few things that stayed with me even after I left the hall...

There is SO much talent in the Indian film industry! The opening credits featured a lot of the "menials", their hard work ... and their hard life! The set designers, costume designers, makeup artists, choreographers, editing artists, oh my, I wouldn't even know how much goes into making one single movie! I wish there were some laws about minimum hourly wages in India like there are in the US. It is heartbreaking to see such hard work, such beautiful work being taken for granted like this!

Then there was the whole unfair business of how people get a foot-hold in the industry. Such a stark contrast between the thousands of talented artists struggling for years and still getting nowhere; and the people with "connections" who get in (and are some times forced in!) so easily with no talent, no experience, no nothing! I suppose it is sort of like the political scene in India too. No qualifications needed, except for connections! How I wish that would change. But I digress...

And then there was the life of the poor little rich kid! Who could not eat enough because there were millions of rupees riding on her waist line as opposed to the poor kids (not featured in the movie, of course) who cannot eat enough because, well, there isn't anything to eat!
Niki Walia was a very believable character in spite of, like Vikram says, living in a cake! She was still so innocent and good at heart, just like most people are deep down within.

And now for the best thing about the movie according to me: the strong, independant and sensible Indian woman! Sona truly represents what the Indian woman is today.
She is not "Sati Savitri" who will sacrifice all for the man
She is not the wife from (I forget the movie...anyone remember Radhika with the curled up "choti" married to Rishi Kapoor?) who lives like a servant in her husband's house.
She is not Rekha from Khoon Bhari Maang, going all out to kill the enemy.
She is no Meena Kumari who will die pining away for her husband!

She is one very sensible woman, who knows what she wants.
She is very strong and refuses to patch up with her very selfish lover
She is very honest and tells him exactly what she thinks of him! She is neither mean to him, nor does she waste time in seeking revenge. She figures out what is right for her, and goes her own way!
She is very realistic and understands that she can either be sad that she could not act in big movies, or she can be happy that she is doing good work and is well liked by people.
She has oodles of self respect!
She chooses to be happy!

She is the perfect role model for women! Not just in India, but all over the world!

Move over Sita and Sati and whoever undermines the power and strength of a woman...

The world belongs to Sona Mishra!!!

I know there are too many !!!! in my post, but then that is how much I liked the movie!

Virtual vs Real

I went to get a pedicure yesterday, and read a bit of an article where the author said she prefers real, flesh-and-blood friends that she can talk to face to face, not someone virtual, on MySpace of FaceBook or something. I didn't complete the article (my pedicure was done, and I was SO ready to go home!) . She mentioned having friends to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh and talk to through the night while she was in college, someone in the next room in her dorm. And thats what she wanted, not some picture on a website.

I completely DISAGREE with her!

First off, my friends that I keep in touch with through the internet are all REAL people, they are not computers or programs! The feelings they convey to me, the joy and sorrow they share with me is very REAL. They make me feel more loved and cared about than the friend that I meet for lunch maybe once in 6 months! They come meet me everyday. They ask after my health, give me advice when I need it, laugh with me, cry with me, tease me too!

It will be very unrealistic and foolish to expect your friends, or at least one of them, to be around whenever you need them for whatever reason. Be around in flesh and blood, that is. But my "virtual" (I hate to call them that! But for lack of a better word, calling them virtual) friends will be there, at least someone will be there at any given time. Even if they are not there at the exact moment, they ALWAYS leave me a note when I wake up in the morning. In fact, with blogger, even people who don't know me leave me messages that always make me smile and feel happy.
I am always surrounded by the love of REAL people! I feel good about my friends on orkut, FaceBook, and Blogger!

I am not trying to downplay the importance of real contact, of meeting in person. I am only trying to say that the online interactions are only making our lives richer, giving us broader perspectives on lives of people in different countries, in different phases of life, from different cultures. Sure, I would love to meet each and everyone of my blogger friends if I can (only that when I do that, I will be dumbstruck and not utter a word for at least a few hours!)


More power to online socializing, mesays!
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Thou shalt not crib!

Sourish has written a more in depth article about this...he calls is Acedia, I call it, in layman's terms "cribbing".

It is pretty amazing how Bloggerville kicks me in the butt and makes me "see" things every time I crib or feel bad about something petty! Its almost like some blogger friend or the other has some telepathic (spelling??) connection to me, and puts up something more hard-hitting that tells me, chup kar!

A couple weeks ago I was feeling really low that all we ever do is fix up the house (there's still a lot of work remaining), we haven't gone out of town even for a weekend. Created quite a ruckus. And Samby put up his post of how passionately he wants to join the army, and cannot. Cry baby had to admit, his issue was bigger!

I can absolutely not tolerate noise and chaos. My office is always bustling with activity. I love everyone here a LOT, couldn't ask for a nicer bunch of colleagues, but at the end of the day, I just want to shut myself up somewhere and not talk to anyone for at least an hour! Was telling this to the hubby the other day, and he lost his patience with me, saying, You seem to have a problem with everything, you like nothing! I took it to heart and did not talk to him for two days , and...well I felt terrible about it. Because I DO NOT complain that much! I am always trying to make fun of things (I mean, come on, read my posts, did y'all not laugh??) and trying not to take stuff personally and all. I felt really bad, and once that starts, the ball gets rolling, and I end up feeling bad about pretty much everything about my life. And then Sourish had to put up this post today...you hate noise he says (well, he didn't really say that to me, but...you know), here, look at this family, a bomb ripped through their home! You feel you are misunderstood? Look at this little boy who they thought was stealing and is in prison since a long time. Cry baby had to admit again, there is some REAL pain out there!

I sometimes feel lonely with no family here and very few friends who are caught up in their own lives (and so am I). My sister lives with her extended family, and I sometimes feel, I wish I was in her shoes. Well, no, not really. Here's why...Everyone remembers the super treat I got on my birthday, right? My sister's birthday was just 4 days after mine, and she did not even get to go out for dinner because her sis-in-law said, "nah, too expensive". Cry baby had to admit, her life is quite good indeed!

All that said, I think I am a pretty cheerful person overall. I try to cheer things up around me as much as I can. When someone says something nasty to me, I feel hurt and lost...about "what did I do wrong to deserve this". Sometimes I am grouchy (usually when I am hungry and/or tired), sometimes I am unreasonable (usually when there is too much noise, especially the chewing kind) Overall I think I am a good soul, but I suppose there is some room for improvement. And Bloggerville's helping :) Thank you all for putting things in the right perspective for me!

I shalt not crib!!! Well....no promises, but I will try! I promise to try!

Wanted to add...
A few months ago, I used to write down at least 5 things I am grateful for everyday. Some things got repeated (like my friends and my cameras because they bring me so much joy). Don't know why I stopped doing it. It used to make me feel much happier through out the day, since I actually took time to figure out what is "good" about my life. The process itself cheered me up so much! I think I will start putting my list everyday on my blog.

Image credit to: Helen Bae Photography

Should they be allowed to get married?

This is a hot topic of discussion every now and then around the lunch table at work.

There was going to be a ruling whether California will allow gay marriages or not.
Lots of opinions were given about why they want to get married, and why the government might deny. All these were technical reasons. No one really expressed their personal opinion about the issue.

So well, I will express mine. I don't mind! Go for it, I say!

They are not freaks of nature. There have been references to homosexuals throughout history, so nothing new. Sure, they are minority, but not uncommon. Earlier it was taboo, I suppose because they were the minority and looked down upon. Even now, people are afraid to "come out of the closet" because society is not very accepting of them. Some people are so hateful towards them, that there have been incidents where a gay person was beaten to death. Someone might say, so why now? They lived in their closet so far, stay there. Well, there are women's rights, animal rights, so why should they not have rights that a "normal" couple has?

People want to marry for all kinds of reasons.

• They have religious reasons, they want to live together, but do not want to "live in sin".
• Their family wants them to get married (otherwise they are not "settled" enough, they say, rolling my eyes at that, stomping my foot and all)
• They want to have a family, and want to be married for that reason.
• They want to have the legal benefits that married couples have
• They want that sense of security and commitment that marriage brings.
  

Whatever it might be, all these reasons apply to gays as well as to straights.

One person here said that they want to get married so that they can adopt kids. I pointed out that being married is not a pre-requisite to having kids, adopted or not. He said, nah, not allowed. I presented him with the case of Brangelina, who have quite an international team building up there. (And I love that they love the kids so much!). In fact Angelina was single when she adopted the first couple kids.

So then he countered with, wellll....you know, I wonder whether gay couples should be allowed to adopt/have kids or not. The kid will have so much trouble growing up. Kids in school will laugh at them, they will not be able to understand the situation, etc. My response to this was, so you think all these kids that do end up messed up have had gay parents? Straight folks can mess up a child's life just as much! So many straight folks have "accidental" children when they have no clue what to do with the child. At least in this case, the parents are fully aware of what they are doing, why they are doing it, its quite a painful process for them to get pregnant or adopt. They do it because they "really want to", not simply because their kid is "भगवान् की देन" or "उपरवाले की इच्छा"!

I agree that the kids of gay parents will have more than their fair share of ridiculing while growing up, but it is up to the parents to teach them and prepare them for such behavior। They will need to make them aware of the possible hostility they will face, but if the parents love their child, raise him to be a good, responsible person, the kid will love them regardless of their orientation.

I personally know of two such couples. One of the couples tried to have a baby (IVF, I suppose), when that didn't work out, they are going for adoption. They so desperately want a child, I hope they can adopt soon.

The way I look at it, there are two people who want to spend their lives together, set up a nice home and raise a family. They live very normal lives, do normal jobs, eat and sleep like we do, are exceptionally creative (you gotta see their Halloween Parade, man, they are AWESOME!), they do not bother us "straights" in any way, they are not denying us anything, not stopping us from doing anything. Most are very peaceful people, so why are we interfering in their lives? Who are we to judge what they can or cannot do.

And they are living together, raising kids, all of that anyway, so why not let them get married? Makes no sense to me *scratching-my-head*. क्या फ़र्क पड़ेगा? Just let them sign that piece of paper!

I don't know what the ruling of the case was. Must have been denied, else there would have been quite an uproar about it. I do hope they win at some point!

They are just people, you know, just like you and me!