Friday, March 21, 2008

Raymond and Debra

Was watching a rerun of "Everybody Loves Raymond" the other day, and I was totally pissed at Debra! Man, that woman is always angry with poor Raymond! No matter what! She acts all nice in front of others, even if she doesn't like them or what they are doing. And once everyone's gone, all hell breaks lose on Ray, who's probably just sitting quietly, eating chips and watching TV.

I watched two episodes, back to back. In one of them, they had gone out to dinner for Valentine's Day, and realized they didn't have anything to talk about. They come home, and here's the scene

D(angrily pacing!) : We had the worst time, we didn't have anything to talk about!
R: Sure, we talked, we talked about the bread, and the butter and how good it was.
***hehehe, that was a strange, awkward conversation the poor guy was trying to have with the already angry Debra***
D: You call that talking? I heard the joke about Robert a millionth time, I am tired!!! We have nothing to talk about! Doesn't that bother you? Isn't it a sign of something going wrong?
***argh, don't try to read signs that are not there, you idiot***
And she goes on and on...

R: Well, I am sorry.
***Huh? Why? Just for being a simple guy with no war stories or whatever to tell? You're married to this one for 11 yrs now, she's probably heard them all anyway***

D(finally stops screaming): No....you don't have to be sorry, its not your fault
***Right***

R: Ok, so how about we scream at YOU now?
***Go Ray! Finally he speaks up for himself! The guy has some patience, or love for his wife, or whatever!***

Poor guy! It was not his fault, but she quit yelling only when he apologized for something he did not do, something that was not even a problem in the first place!
That woman needs to see that her husband is happy and content eating dinner with her quietly, there really is no need to talk about anything! He likes being with her even though there is no real reason to, even though there is nothing to do, nothing to discuss. Just be. Together. Thats all.

Looking at Ray, I felt men are quite simple beings really. They don't over-analyze things like we do. They do what they can, and don't fret over what they cannot. They do not try to find hidden meanings and agendas in things others say and do. Sometimes this may come across as being insensitive, but mostly they are minding their own business, and helping us when asked to.
Peaceful junta!

And here comes the punchline. My husband was not watching this with me. I described the scene to him, and said, is she mad? There is nothing wrong in the situation, nothing wrong that he did and she's taking out God knows what on him!

He says, You tell me, looks like they were telling your story.

And it hit me. He was right :( Although I am not as crazy as Debra (really, I am not), I do try to find issues where none exist and get worked up over them. And his being the only pair of ears around, they get to hear God knows what all crap!

We women gotta learn from men to cherish what we have (our wonderful companions!) and not worry about things we don't have (like...problems to talk about!)

27 comments:

vEENs said...

The boys around are gonna lov u for this honey :D

but i feel u r right! we do a lot of critical analysis and trying to finding the meaning of smething that doesn't exist etc!
but then thats y we r women na :))

dnt worry.. realization is the first and the most difficult step ...u will improve easily from now on!

You gotta be proud of that man...he tells u whats on his mind and is funny and so nice!

:)
lucky girl!

Keshi said...

I love EVERYOBODY LOVED RAYMOND :)


**I do try to find issues where none exist and get worked up over them

lol aww..we all do that sometimes. o well, as long as u realise that and not do it as much in future :)


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

aneri_masi said...

@veens, am totally proud of him. He's no way like Ray. He won't take no nonsense from anyone...me included! This was actually a general thing...that most of us women do this, over-analyze, and then fret. We gotta learn from guys to stay cool :)

@keshi, I know, we all do it...and now its making me mad that us women are not as cool and calm as them. Just kidding :)

vEENs said...

Totally yaar. If we could keep our cool and THINK for once :D

Cinderella. said...

Such a cute cute post !!
And yeah, even I hafta admit, women fuss over nothing most of the times. And the men, poor souls, so sweet they are to bear with it all with gumption, and yet tell you, "I'm sorry. I love you."

Loved reading this. And I luuurve Raymond. This is the last season isnt it ?

c e e d y said...

ab meh aapne muh se kya kahu

ironic i wrote a short story on my new blog - something similar - check it out

--xh-- said...

nice post.. and hey, thnx for telling the truth abt us guys ;-D LOL

this is one post i gonna bookmark and let my future wifi read :-D

Pavi!!!! said...

haha..i love Everybody loves Raymond!..
I've heard so many married people say..Real lives are soooo much like "everybody loves Raymond" except that they are not actually so funny!

n haan..i agree we women fuss over nothing at times..but these men also ya..

SambY said...

lolz... this was a really gr8 post di... beri beri nice... Yes men do not overanalyse things.... often :)....

aneri_masi said...

Hehe :) Looks like I have struck a chord with women and men both here :)

@Ella, Pavi, As for "Everybody Loves Raymond", I am not very fond of the show, I think its a bit over the top (the way Debra's always angry is a bit unrealistic). I mean you couldn't really call them "happily" married, coz well...she doesn't seem happy at all!

Two shows showing married couples that I do like are "The Bernie Mac Show", and "My Wife and Kids". They have their issues, but they resolve them very nicely.

-xh-...Get married first, then show her the post, nahi to bhaag jayegi ;)

@ceedy, Nice new blog :)

@samby, :)

SambY said...

ur a good girl for listening to the enduring spirit... lolz this is unrelated to ur post ..but still ...

cheerz..

Cinderella. said...

'My wife and kids'..!!!!!!
Bang on !!!

When at home, used to rush from naps bang at 6.30 to see it...followed by the ever favorite 'Friends'..then 'ugly betty' or seinfield or two and a half men, then ghost whisperer, or brothers and sisters..oh I can go on and on...

Missin home now...waaaaaaaa....
hafta fix up my tv soon...

Cinderella. said...

And yeah, you're true abt Deborah..she;s what yo call a phuurfecttt nagging wife..!!!

And she always makes Ray so miserable...poor soul...

carolinagal said...

LOL Aneri!!!
I agree, sometimes women nag a lot. But I do feel for Debra at times. Its not the same for people like us who have not been a 10+ year old relationship. It think it one of the worst fears of many women (including me), to lose the 'spark' in a relationship after a long time. I think a lot of what is portrayed in this sitcom is what most married couples go through after several years in a marriage. I only wish such marriages in real life had a comedic side to it..

Nice profile pic! Now I have a face to place with 'Aneri_masi'.

vEENs said...

Whatta lovely pic girl :)

and i designed my templates :)!

do u want ne of them? u can have it.. ot anything else...i can try...tell me ok/

Ankur said...

hehe... this is the first post across blogerrsville i have read which says a lot abt men and their qualities... :)

really, hands down, u win over all the accolades from me :D

// felt men are quite simple beings really. They don't over-analyze things like we do. They do what they can, and don't fret over what they cannot. They do not try to find hidden meanings and agendas in things others say and do. Sometimes this may come across as being insensitive, but mostly they are minding their own business, and helping us when asked to.//

you know some men do, when they feel insecure, possesive.

but still, i faced the same situation recently when one friend of mine read too much into what i said... gosh!!! i was wondering, y, y cant u keep it simple, be the way u want...
and u know the best part, when i was reasoning it out, i called manupulative... funny... but yes she is a dear friend!!! :)

Mez said...

Oic u put ur pic..cute cute. Liek u,even i have been writing n deleting posts.lol

aneri_masi said...

@ella...6:30 ko nap se uthna? Kitna soti hai ;)

@cg. Thanks for the pic compliment :)
About losing the spark...I feel that comes when we try to stay in the "good old times" when there was all the time in the world for each other, and the two were trying to impress each other and all that (where did all that special treatment go, they say) If we are able to move on with life, then the spark can still stay alive. We just need to adjust to the dynamics of life, and make it fun. Oh well, but what do I know, been married for less than 4 months ;)

@ankur...well, men CAN be manipulative, everyone does when they need something. What I was mentioning was about general, everyday life, where everything seems normal, everyone is pretty much doing what they need to, and here comes this "issue", ke why are we so complacent, why are we not doing something about this (what "this" is, no one knows!)

@mez Thanks :) Me still stuck...still no ideas abt what to write :(

Anjuli said...

This was cute, I too feel like this a lot of times...

but then guys also do irritating stuff at times, isn't it?

Neeku said...

haha.... if your hubby is reading your blogs... he is going to thank God for being so Lucky to have you..

Well I guess you are true ... at times we need to learn that from Men.

anyways, back to packing...

BTW your picture looks really cute :)

Ashu said...

hey aneri, good blog this ;) dropped here thru mezie, anjuli and veensie s blog.....

lovely!!!

c e e d y said...

uo npdates

SambY said...

jaldi likhu masi ji.. apni date ki story... lolz.. :)

c e e d y said...

no updates

elusive said...

well written..and ya u r pretty much right wen u say we women invent issues wen none exist! but men can be real pain sumtimes na..like even big issues are non-issues to 'em..i wudnt want to generalize but ya sumwhere they lack the emotional depth..most of 'em.

sweetearth said...

I love your blog/...I was so lost in it...i lost track of time....very cool...

Chakli said...

i have to admit...i have bugged HG about the exact same thing in the early years of our marriage. Now we laugh about it. In fact i saw that episode recently and just as a joke, HG and I talked about bread and butter over dinner that night. :)