Raymond and Debra

Was watching a rerun of "Everybody Loves Raymond" the other day, and I was totally pissed at Debra! Man, that woman is always angry with poor Raymond! No matter what! She acts all nice in front of others, even if she doesn't like them or what they are doing. And once everyone's gone, all hell breaks lose on Ray, who's probably just sitting quietly, eating chips and watching TV.

I watched two episodes, back to back. In one of them, they had gone out to dinner for Valentine's Day, and realized they didn't have anything to talk about. They come home, and here's the scene

D(angrily pacing!) : We had the worst time, we didn't have anything to talk about!
R: Sure, we talked, we talked about the bread, and the butter and how good it was.
***hehehe, that was a strange, awkward conversation the poor guy was trying to have with the already angry Debra***
D: You call that talking? I heard the joke about Robert a millionth time, I am tired!!! We have nothing to talk about! Doesn't that bother you? Isn't it a sign of something going wrong?
***argh, don't try to read signs that are not there, you idiot***
And she goes on and on...

R: Well, I am sorry.
***Huh? Why? Just for being a simple guy with no war stories or whatever to tell? You're married to this one for 11 yrs now, she's probably heard them all anyway***

D(finally stops screaming): No....you don't have to be sorry, its not your fault
***Right***

R: Ok, so how about we scream at YOU now?
***Go Ray! Finally he speaks up for himself! The guy has some patience, or love for his wife, or whatever!***

Poor guy! It was not his fault, but she quit yelling only when he apologized for something he did not do, something that was not even a problem in the first place!
That woman needs to see that her husband is happy and content eating dinner with her quietly, there really is no need to talk about anything! He likes being with her even though there is no real reason to, even though there is nothing to do, nothing to discuss. Just be. Together. Thats all.

Looking at Ray, I felt men are quite simple beings really. They don't over-analyze things like we do. They do what they can, and don't fret over what they cannot. They do not try to find hidden meanings and agendas in things others say and do. Sometimes this may come across as being insensitive, but mostly they are minding their own business, and helping us when asked to.
Peaceful junta!

And here comes the punchline. My husband was not watching this with me. I described the scene to him, and said, is she mad? There is nothing wrong in the situation, nothing wrong that he did and she's taking out God knows what on him!

He says, You tell me, looks like they were telling your story.

And it hit me. He was right :( Although I am not as crazy as Debra (really, I am not), I do try to find issues where none exist and get worked up over them. And his being the only pair of ears around, they get to hear God knows what all crap!

We women gotta learn from men to cherish what we have (our wonderful companions!) and not worry about things we don't have (like...problems to talk about!)