Hmphhhh!!!!

Tell me, when you go to a restaurant, how often do you tell the waiter, just bring me whatever you feel like, don't bug me about it? Or tell them your menu sucks, go get me something else?

Not very often, or actually, not ever! Right?
Then why do guys/kids say these things to their wives/mothers when they are asked what they would like to eat?

How often do you tell the host when invited to a party that I don't like to eat X, Y, Z so make sure you don't have those on the menu, or else I won't eat. I will go hungry that night, and it will be because you did not want me to eat?

Absolutely never, right? Then maybe, once in a while, you can let that poor soul in your home make what they like and you join them without a complaint?

How often, when you you go to a friend's house, and they ask you how you like the food, do you say, oh, the paneer pieces are too big? Or, "there is too much poppy seeds?" Or, "Ewwwwww"?
Never? Then why do you hurt the feelings of the poor soul who cooks for you every day? Sometimes after a long and hard day of their own?

Be considerate people! These women are going to spend quite some time cooking a meal just for you, so help them out and don't be so rude! Appreciate their efforts, even if you don't quite like the size of your veggies. Because it is all being done to fill your stupid stomachs!

Hmpphhhh!!!!

And another hmmppphhhh!!! on how all my latest posts are rants! Where did that darned happy soul disappear? Come back, I need some cheer here!

:(

The ridiculous politics just doesn't stop, does it?

Who is Antulay to question Karkare's death!? Such crap! What the heck is he trying to achieve!!!!

Alcohol tests for Amte, Salaskar and Karkare? Can it be any more insulting than that? Why will anyone ever want to defend a country, give their lives for a country who "awards" them like this? Maybe they indeed were drunk to be foolish enough to go defending such idiots!

Why are we wasting time and resources in investigating such things instead of going after the terrorists still at large in probably each and every state in the country?

Tchah!!! I am completely disgusted!

Odd hours...scary messages!

I wish people would not call me at odd hours. These being the hours between midnight and 9:00AM.

No, its not because I am unavailable. Not because it interrupts me. Not because I am in no mood to talk to anyone during these hours, or because I am sleeping.

Its because a phone ringing at odd hours scares me! Millions of thoughts run through my head about what could be wrong that they had to call me at that hour! So far, it has always turned out to be nothing, (touch wood!), but it still makes my heart skip a beat, fearing the worst!

I got 3 missed calls at 6:00AM today, I did not even hear the phone ring as I was fast asleep. Saw 3 missed calls and 3 new messages when I did get my phone out of my purse at 9:00AM. No caller-id meant it was from India. Instant panic! Listened to the messages, and turned out someone was trying to find someone who I happened to know. Was relieved to know it was nothing really, and then upset, because, WTH! Why scare me like that!? Everyone who knows me, knows that I get up only after 8:30, so how hard is it to remember that?

And how hard is it to leave coherent voice messages?
My sister called me once at 1:30 on a Friday night (which is fine, she knows I sleep late), I ran to get the phone, but it went to voicemail, and this is the message she left "Its didi, don't know what to say, just call me whenever". I was SO scared! Called my husband and asked him to sit by me, while I called her back. And she said, oh, I didn't call for any particular reason, so that's why I said "don't know what to say". She might have shortened my life by a few seconds there! How I wanted to strangle her!

Oh well...some things will never change! Hmphh!

Am soon gonna be a zombie...

Working with people in three time zones (EST, PST, IST) is definitely not fun :( It all started yesterday.

Was at work for about 9 hours, got home and right away got to some yard work (its that spa and landscaping in the backyard, and yesterday we got our first harvest of tomatoes for this year, that's for another post though! And looked at awe at this old stump of a palm tree which is literally crumbling, like I swept off sawdust from it, and yet it had new leaves shooting out of it! This calls for a pic too! Maybe tomorrow I will take one) . Had some fun measuring all the rooms in the house (the spa just sparked off the hubby's enthusiasm, and we somehow ended up deciding to get a whole new home-theater system, which covers the house as well as the yard! Don't ask me the details, my head is still spinning from seeing his plans...and the bills are kind of an explanation of why I can't quit working just yet!), got dinner to go, got on call with the folks in India till about midnight, warmed up that dinner, and ceremoniously made salad out of those first tomatoes, complete with pictures and all! Slept at 2, up again at 7 for doc's appt, did NOT like going to a hospital first thing in the morning :( Straight to work, and meetings till 3:45, finally managed to get some lunch at 4, heading home now in a few minutes, back to the yard work (that spa better be worth all this!) and back on the calls with the India folks (want to wring someone's neck right now, yah, I know I am being unreasonable, but still want to wring someone's neck). I hope it doesn't go on till midnight again! And on calls with folks on the East coast beginning at 7am tomorrow. Have to fit in my exercise somewhere in here too! Hope this ends soon, or else I will hurt someone! I am not a nice person when I am so tired! I am not a good driver too when I am so tired. And I have so many parallel threads of thoughts in my head (just check all those things in brackets, this one included!), and they are all getting tangled up and I have no clue what I am thinking!

Yeah, I know. Most people's lives are like this. But hey, mine's not, and hence I shall crib until I get back my idyllic existence!

Ok, I feel better now. Will put up pics of my cute, sweet cherry tomatoes when this madness ends!

Should go home now. The yard awaits!

I miss the old me....

Over the last few days, I have realized that I don't enjoy the simple things anymore...not like I used to.

- I used to eat and enjoy just about anything that was warm and edible.
Not so anymore :( It needs to be just right. My cooking's improved, but the downside is that I hardly like any food at most restaurants anymore (too oily, too spicy, too bland, too...whatever). I stress out about how tiring it gets to cook every single week night, but I can't stand the thought of dinner to-go, or even freezing some food. (no, no, I can't eat frozen food, yuck!) sigh...such an attitude!

- I used to think I take really good pictures. I loved sharing them with my family and friends.
Not so anymore :( I started browsing other people's work and try to get to that level of perfection, and feel SO frustrated that I can't be that good instantly :( I don't think my stuff is good enough to share.

- I never even noticed my waist or weight. I wouldn't care if my hair looked ok or not, I would just rush out and meet anyone, anytime.
Not so anymore :( I cannot tolerate even an inch of fat around my middle. I can't face anyone if my hair's frizzy, I can't invite anyone if there's even a small speck of dust in some faraway corner of my home :(

- I would go to just about any place for a holiday. Live in any shanty of a hotel, as long as it was in a new place.
Not so anymore :( It needs to be exotic, the location needs to be nicer than my own California, the hotel needs to be ultra-nice (which means its ultra-expensive too!!)

The list is endless...but the worst one....
- I thought I was a very nice person.
Not so anymore. I find so many character flaws in me, (I have a kind heart, but a quick temper, I help, but I get impatient, I am good at things, but I am lazy, the buts just never end!) I find myself unable to fix each and every one of them, and feel worse!

I want my happy-g0-lucky, imperfect self back. I HATE this unhappy, perfectionist that I am slowly becoming!

Don't talk to me, I'll bite your head off!

Am in a terrible terrible terrible mood.

I have just ONE dream in my life...to travel, and I see that going down the drain :(
I feel stuck. Day in and day out, doing the same old stupid living.
Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, water the stupid plants, cook the same old rotis and sabzis with onions and garlic, and sleep.
Weekday or weekend, doesn't matter. Stay within the same walls of the house. Yeah, its a pretty house. So? Yeah, the flowers make me feel happy, so I should take care of them, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But SO??? SO WHAT??? I wanna go OUT! AWAY! To a new place!
I HATE THIS MONOTONY! I feel like screaming my head off...at no one in particular.

Yeah, yeah, there are others less fortunate than me, so? Just coz I have almost everything a person could ever want, doesn't mean, I still can't dream, and hope to fulfill it and all.

Don't bother with comments, people, I am not going to reply to any of them.
Don't bother asking my why, I won't reply, am in no mood to talk, or vent, or anything.
Just want to be left alone today. Wish I could just disappear...into thin air...just like that...
pooofffff......

Don't try to find me, I'll come back when I feel like!


Well...there was this other thing...I am sponsoring two girls through Asha...
One of 'em got 75% in her 4th semester in engineering. That's more than I ever got!
Good job, MichaelRani :)

And the other one is in the 10th class. She got marks like 11/100, 24/100. Oh well, she must have some other problems going on. I won't judge her! She's going to school and thats more than I can ask for! Good job, Mubeena :)

Ok, talking about the two kids makes me a feel a little bit better. But just a little bit, so don't try to talk to me. Not yet!

I'll come back when I feel nice again!

UPDATE:
Ok, now you can comment, but can ask only about the two girls I am sponsoring.