Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Perceptions...

My nephew S, (cousin's son, he is about 4 years younger to me) and his wife, P, have moved to the Bay area from Pune. They have been here for about a month now.

I had invited them for paav-bhaji dinner this Sunday night. Had fun talking to them..especially to S, since he brought up all those long forgotten stories of our childhood. We spoke about our cousins and all the weddings in the family. Apparently they had the same photographer for their wedding that we had for my sister's 23 years ago! S was like, oh man, you don't want to see our pictures, they are very much similar to what he did for badi masi's wedding. Then P started telling some story she heard from my mother about my parents' wedding. Not one I had heard of!

S then mentioned that P is really impressed with my mother. She is so organized, talks so much and is so funny! And I was thinking, Who're you talking about? She is organized, yes, but she is also always tensed about "how will this get done, when will this get done, nothing's ever going to get done, are you getting up now, or should I go do your chores". Constantly worried. Non stop!
And she doesn't talk much, not to me...not now, not when I lived there. She would only tell me what chores I need to finish, ask me weather I am hungry, feed me, etc. Nothing like what P was saying! They said she always had so many fun stories about her life to tell them every time. And funny? Nooooo...constantly worried and hassled is what I saw! Very hard to make her smile.
But these two painted a completely different picture.

That got me thinking... we all have different faces, different personalities based on who we are communicating with. I know I am very reserved when I am with my parents, a child with my jijus, a bit serious at work (just a little bit though, hard to be serious with such fun colleagues here!), completely crazy with my friends, and a little bit of everything when I am at home with the hubby. But still...the perception of me as a person is not so different. Not like what I know of my mom, and what S and P know of her. So my new resolution is that the next time I meet her, I want to bring out what S and P bring out in her, the fun, the laughter, the stories!

On the flip side...I emailed my sisters that I had invited these two for paav-bhaji, and so much fun it was and all that. The only response I got was, "You know how to make paav-bhaji"? Now here is another perspective. No matter what I or anyone else says, regardless of how fancy my daily meals are, the perception that "kashmira cannot cook to save her life" is not going to change. The next time I get that question I am going to say, No, I invited P and then asked her to have some pity on me and cook for me!

26 comments:

~ ॐ ~ said...

Pao Bhaji looks like Wow Bhaji to me when ever I am not in India :D

perceptions yes... they are pretty interesting and can get on to your nerves too at times...

aneri_masi said...

Wish I could invite you over for dinner! Koi shauk se khaye, to I will happily cook whatever! But my sisters annoy me no end. I have decided to NEVER EVER cook for them! hmpphhh..

Aur different perceptions...there are little things that catch your attention every day, isn't it?

~ ॐ ~ said...

In fact come to think about it, our entire lives are based on perceptions... what we think of other people and what other people think of us...

aneri_masi said...

very true. We do what we do based on our perceptions. I guess only little kids who are still in the "curious" phase, who truly don't know what will happen if... are free from it.

--xh-- said...

perception - they r best left alone... it is almost impossible to change them...
different faces - we all do have them, and we all wear them, knowingly or unknowingly. as Shakespeare said, world is a set and we all are actors... only thing is, we do take multiple role @ same time...

I am said...

ha ha ha u bet... I have the same story at home with regard to the cooking and eating... :)


as far perceptions goes, I am surprised how much my own perception changes on the same thing every time I revisit it...

am never sure ki mai change ho gai ki situation hi change ho gaya :) !!

Bahut konfusion hai !

Cinderella. said...

LOl !! Same here di..!

And coindentally we made paav bhaji this sunday. It was yummy. O, I admit he helped me too.

About perceptions, my bro always has the complain that dad is mch more fun with me than he is with him. I dunno why is that, but guess it just is.

I'd love to know how things turn out when you meet her next.

D said...

What a coincidence, I was going to do a post on perceptions myself! And I agree, there are so many facets to a person's personality - hidden and revealed - that he may be one thing to you and something totally different to another.

Veens said...

well i ditto Om's 2nd comment...

we generally live on perceptions innit... the only real one we knw is ourselves innit?!

i guess so!

and ROFL on yur sissy's comments :D)

shorry i knw u r irritated :D but it is FUNNY!

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

paav bhaaji and kashmira can't cook....lol

I liked ur interpretation on perception and how we have to live different lives in different situations... :)

Crystal.. said...

Pav bhaji is like mmmmmmmmmm! =D

Me said...

ha! temme abt it...no matter the fact tat its been 8 entire months since iv been workin, everytime i tell some 'iv got a meetin', they crack up...what gives man!

and about different faces, temme abt it! my dad is SOOOOOOOOOO different when he's around his friends...funny, jokey all that...but around us...he is a lilllll stern faced! weird!

The Paratrooper said...

if u decide never to cook for them...fir bhi yehi bolne wale hai ki ...she cannot cook..so better not cook then LOL

aneri_masi said...

@xh, yeah, no point trying to change stubborn opinions!

@tanu, i think its both. Situation also changes and so do you. Which makes it harder to figure out :)

@Ella, Maybe your brother is right :) My mom? I don't think anything will be different. Because she IS a different person at different times. She chooses to be like that.

aneri_masi said...

@D, I think you and I are twins. Arian, right? What's your birthday? Me is April 18.

aneri_masi said...

@veens, totally! Only we know our true selves.

And you can laugh. I am not irritated, just given up on them :)

@sourish, Now that sounds like that "pappu can't dance" song! Maybe my sisters should sing it :)

@crystal, totally!

aneri_masi said...

@me, 8 months? I have been working for 11 years, and I still feel my dad wants to ask my boss "Is she doing ok?" like he would ask my KG teacher!

@trooper, wohi to point hai. Phaltu mehnat kyu karni. And they don't want to accept the truth, so tell them what they want to hear!

ceedy said...

Hehe - aisa hota hai when you say - what are you talking about MY parents....?

and glad masi can cook....warna aana cancel :)

P said...

People have similar perception about my cooking as well..sometimes its frustrating but many times it has benefits too. 1) I get praised whenever and whatever I cook because they probably expect me to not even know how to boil rice properly. 2) In Indian parties here in US, I get boxed left-overs to take home because they think they are saving my life for at least one more day :D

Regarding your ma, she probably doesn't show all her worries to outsiders and shares her anxiety only with close ones.

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

april 18 :O
how u r arian :O

Princess Mia said...

wah, pav bhaji...makes my mouth water....

n dont worry too much abt perceptions....chill aaisa hota hai...

aneri_masi said...

@ceedy, kab aa rahe ho? :)

@p, oh, whoever has tried my cooking has expressed SHOCK and then praise. But SHOCK is first!

@sourish, accha, to tum hi batao, what am I supposed to be if not arian??

@mia, not worrying...just observing.
PS: (I HATE it when anyone says don't worry)

The Paratrooper said...

we shall open a pav bhaji stand ... will charge extremly high prices so that no one will buy..and then will eat it all ourselves..

D said...

You kidding?! We ARE twins!!!! Me too April 18!

aneri_masi said...

D, :O
I am afraid to ask year and time now!!!

Preeti said...

btw, tat 'me' is me = preeti~ :P