Perceptions...

My nephew S, (cousin's son, he is about 4 years younger to me) and his wife, P, have moved to the Bay area from Pune. They have been here for about a month now.

I had invited them for paav-bhaji dinner this Sunday night. Had fun talking to them..especially to S, since he brought up all those long forgotten stories of our childhood. We spoke about our cousins and all the weddings in the family. Apparently they had the same photographer for their wedding that we had for my sister's 23 years ago! S was like, oh man, you don't want to see our pictures, they are very much similar to what he did for badi masi's wedding. Then P started telling some story she heard from my mother about my parents' wedding. Not one I had heard of!

S then mentioned that P is really impressed with my mother. She is so organized, talks so much and is so funny! And I was thinking, Who're you talking about? She is organized, yes, but she is also always tensed about "how will this get done, when will this get done, nothing's ever going to get done, are you getting up now, or should I go do your chores". Constantly worried. Non stop!
And she doesn't talk much, not to me...not now, not when I lived there. She would only tell me what chores I need to finish, ask me weather I am hungry, feed me, etc. Nothing like what P was saying! They said she always had so many fun stories about her life to tell them every time. And funny? Nooooo...constantly worried and hassled is what I saw! Very hard to make her smile.
But these two painted a completely different picture.

That got me thinking... we all have different faces, different personalities based on who we are communicating with. I know I am very reserved when I am with my parents, a child with my jijus, a bit serious at work (just a little bit though, hard to be serious with such fun colleagues here!), completely crazy with my friends, and a little bit of everything when I am at home with the hubby. But still...the perception of me as a person is not so different. Not like what I know of my mom, and what S and P know of her. So my new resolution is that the next time I meet her, I want to bring out what S and P bring out in her, the fun, the laughter, the stories!

On the flip side...I emailed my sisters that I had invited these two for paav-bhaji, and so much fun it was and all that. The only response I got was, "You know how to make paav-bhaji"? Now here is another perspective. No matter what I or anyone else says, regardless of how fancy my daily meals are, the perception that "kashmira cannot cook to save her life" is not going to change. The next time I get that question I am going to say, No, I invited P and then asked her to have some pity on me and cook for me!