Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Where do you draw the line?

WARNING: This is another one of those molehills that is about to become a mountain!

An acquaintance of mine moved here from India about 6 months ago. So far, he has proved to be quite irresponsible and insensitive to other people's time. I won't go into details, but lets just say that I (and the hubby too) have done a LOT of running around on his behalf.

So the latest is this... I got a call this morning saying that he is not in town this week, and won't be back in time to pay his rent, which is due tomorrow. So would I go pay it. I said sure, no problem. I asked him to email me the details (what is the amount, who do I write the check to, what apartment number do I put in, etc) and I will go and pay it.

Its the end of the day today, and I have not yet received any information.

So what's the vote people, should I write/call and remind him to give me the necessary info, or should I let it pass, have him pay the penalty?

Like I said, its not that big a deal, but how long do you cover for someone, and how old do you need to be before you stop expecting spoon-feeding (The dude has a 3 year old kid, btw!)

Edited to add: He did email late last night...claiming that he had too much work to write to me earlier. Sigh...some people! I wonder whether he saw this post!!!

18 comments:

I am said...

I will surely happily forget :)

@lankr1ta said...

His rent, his problem. It would be a good thing for him to get a shock.

--xh-- said...

well, if he dont bother to send you the details, let it go - let him pay the penalty. People need to take the responsibilities, and you can't cover for him always....

GVK said...

How irresponsible can one get. It appears this friend of yours must be close to someone you respect or feel indebted to. Or else, the bloke shouldn't have been allowed the literties he seems to have taken on your time and patience. If you go any further in helping him out, you might be rewarding his irresponsibility.
I can think of a couple persons, among my relatives, who fit into the behavioural thumb-sketch you have drawn up.

Indian Home Maker said...

I would have been very annoyed. Don't remind him. And also tell him you can not remember such stuff unless you are reminded repeatedly.
He is irresponsible!!!

Aathira said...

100 percent do not call/remind and let him pay the penalty!

I very strongly believe that everyone needs to do their own things themselves. In fact, I was having a conversation with boyfriend that there are some people who just can not get down to doing things themselves; and we came to the conclusion that it is mostly when parents take too much care of these people and ensure everything is laden out for them all through life. Then, they start expecting this as a norm from others too.

carolinagal said...

That is ridiculous!!
I wouldn't give it even a second thought..the answer is clear...he needs to take responsibility!!! It is not YOUR job to make sure that he pays his rent on time!!
See thats what pisses me off the most about people who come from India..they expect things to work the same way as they did when they were back there!!

WSW said...

I know what I am gonna suggest will seem mean (dont judge me by it :) ) but if you have had enough, dont send any reminders..as when that individual remembers he will send you the details, you just go "oops it slipped mine too"

Dr Roshan R said...

nope.. dont pay up, dont call up.

Moochers will remain moochers.. I know cos I've been on the recieving end.. you end up doing all the menial tasks and then when the time comes, you'll find it a one way street. Politely, make excuses yourself and escape !!!

DeeplyDip said...

i think you should just wait for him to give you the details...you've been kind and offered him help-now if he wants you to pay he should send you the details...
if he tries to make you feel guilty later - tell him you thought he asked someone else to do it for him since he did not respond!!

hitch writer said...

be a sweetheart !

ask him...

Chirag said...

Long back I started following this, sure helps me " Don't make those your priority for whom you are just an option"

~ ॐ ~ said...

I would never be taken for granted like this... and neither should you...

there can be some circumstances where someone needs a favor but this seems to be a bit irresponsible to be... I think the information could have been shared with you in the first note itself !

aneri_masi said...

Thanks everyone. I know, this should not even have been a question, right? But there is a catch (isn't there always!?)

Because he had no credit history in the US when he arrived, I co-signed the lease on his apartment. So legally, I am also responsible for his rent.

I spoke to the hubby when I got home, and he said, well, you call him and give him a piece of your mind. tell HIM exactly what you think instead of venting to others :) Gotta love a practical, to-the-point man :D

The fella emailed late last night, so I suppose his side of the deal is taken care of, and the issue is back to its original molehill size!

aneri_masi said...

@chirag, LOVE that line! I gotta remember that one!

aneri_masi said...

@cg, ohh....don't even get me started on that one :)

aneri_masi said...

@gvk uncle, will email you :)

Princess Mia said...

am late for this post...so kya hua?