Friday, October 30, 2009

Being settled is unsettling!

Most of my "firsts" are done and over with.

First job ... lost of count of how many I have had so far...4 maybe? Love my job, but yet its just one of those things you do, you know like breathing or brushing your teeth everyday? The excitement is gone.
First car ... have my second one, and love it!
First house ... love this house, not moving!
Married ... and staying married!
No kids ... and not wanting any!

I am settled! I have pretty much everything that I want, and I am satisfied. This realization is unsettling me. This is it? Bass?

With most things I do, I am really excited in the beginning, then I lose steam in the middle. Where the novelty has worn off, and the end is no where in sight. Its the point where patience is the most important thing, where you really need to trudge along, dragging yourself some times, just to make it to the finish line. I have so many unfinished projects, it is embarrassing! And it is alarming that I am treating life the same way! The initial excitement, the gazillion dreams, the enthusiasm, all have disappeared. And life is one project that I cannot afford to get bored of and stash away in some corner to gather dust.

Everything just seems to be the same old, same old, same old. I really need to bring the spark back into my life.


Mumbai Diva said...

have been thinking along the same lines lately. I want to do so much more but am unable to take off. existing from one day to another.

Preeti said...

get kids...thats the change ur lookin for...u may not want it...or so uthink...but u do :)

hitch writer said...

welcome to domestication !!!!

Cosmic Joy said...

Great post. This is the sad reality of when we know what's going to come next in our lives. Back when we are young we have no clue how our life is going to turn out.

In our childhood, we dream of becoming doctors, artists, pilots, etc. Then in our youth, we have dreams (and some real experiences) about that special someone, a lucrative profession, etc.

There is always something to wish for, to dream about, a sense of a better future.

And then things change, we follow a profession, we choose a life-partner, and we build our family nest. And then, we sit back and wonder what's next .. and we realize that we know exactly what the next day is going to bring.

As you so aptly put it, the spark is no longer there.

aneri_masi said...

@MD, my problem is a bit different. I have become too complacent, and have nothing else in the pipeline :(

@Preeti, no, i definitely do not want a child.

@Hitch, sigh...thanks!

@cosmic, on the other hand, I look at my 65+ yr old Dad, and he always has something or the other going on in his head. Something that he wants to try out next. He still has the spark! Which makes me think its not impossible, I just need to bring it back. No?

Cosmic Joy said...

You bring up a valid point.. so maybe this too is a passing phase. Unless the reality is that we we grow older and realize time is running out, and we try to make the best use of the time we have .. and the spark is reignited .. 2nd Innings :)

D said...

That's so typically Arien!

aneri_masi said...

@cosmic, no, he's always been like that :)

@D, is it??? which part? the losing patience part?

Ria said...

yes everything needs a new touch every once in a while. Yeah Arians hav less patience, my elder bro is a perfect example. :)

Anonymous said...

Fascinating, I rarely (instead of risking sounding pompous by saying never) really get bored. So I find it hard to comprehend what you (and my better half) mean when you say there is no excitement. What works for me is intellectually challenging questions. There are tons and tons of things I don't know but am curious about, so when one avenue hits a brick wall, I find it easy to immerse myself in a different problem and at some point of time to come back to this one w/ a fresh perspective. So life is always exciting, waking up in the morning is always a pleasure and ordinary things, interesting.

Vinesh said...

getting new firsts into your life also beats mental ageing, like you mention about your dad in one of the comments...

I am said...

I am still catching up 'My Firsts'

I guess my this is it, is still far !

aneri_masi said...

@Vinesh, thanks for pointing that out to me :) Makes me feel more hopeful! After all the conventional "firsts", we need to look for some special things!

@Tanu, I suppose not reaching the milestone can also be a bit frustrating?