Saturday, February 20, 2010

Will we ever get there?

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were talking about my Facebook profile picture... I had put up a wedding picture since it was Wedding Picture week on FB. I ended up going to my picasa site where I have all the pictures, and he was awed by all the work that must have gone into dressing me up like that. I mentioned the lady who had helped me with it, how efficient she was and all.

He then shared something about his own wedding. He is Brazilian and his wife is American. The wedding was in Brazil, so they went there about 3 months before the date to make arrangements. So the lady who was going to do his wife's hair...and then he laughed, saying, well, he was a big gay guy, really. Dressed up as a lady, didn't fool anyone though... and he continued with his story. The lady had come alone, without assistants, and didn't have enough time to do the bride's hair. Everyone who did manage to get it done, were delighted with what she had done for them.

He had many other interesting things he said about his wedding, but I could not get this one out of my mind.
Can we ever imagine this happening in India? Transvestites being accepted, getting respectable jobs, and being appreciated for their work, instead of ridiculed or feared for who they are?

I admit, even I turn away when I see them on traffic signals in India. I think its out of fear. Probably because I didn't understand anything about them, didn't know much about them. I live in the San Francisco Bay area. SF has a huge gay population, and I don't treat them the way I do in India.

I for one, am a changed person after this conversation with my friend. I promise, I will at least give a friendly smile when I encounter a transvestite in India.

As for when will the mentality of others change, when we will see acceptance? I don't think it will happen in my lifetime. So what if the courts have accepted them, the people have not! Sad, ain't it?

7 comments:

Vrij said...

You know why we turn away from anyone? Because they appear offensive. Same case with the hijras here. All they do is trouble people and demand(not beg) money. I'm not sure if there's one in this country who does not beg and looks for a job.

Kanan said...

Have a hope, my friend. If nothing, at least it will keep you going by being your fuel. When impossible becomes possible, you realize that there is God.

lightworker said...

since you are eager to make a difference in your attitude...may i suggest using transexual or even better transgender...or cross dresser....instead ...since these are less derogatory...

in india....hijras are often chased off...but other than prostitution and demanding money at functions...or on the street...they really ahve no other possible source of income...tragic...isn't it...

the curse of being 'different' ...

Arobindo said...

I don't know...I don't think I will change...point is they also have to change...their ways...though it will happen overtime however time it will take...

~mE said...

The parlor i go to..has many men dressed in fashionable women clothing..They are the most paid hair dressers they have fancy titles like Style directors and all :) I also gather that most women customers prefer them.
But, they are way different than the ones you see on roads. The way they dress/behave/approach is so offensive and scary.

Renu said...

This is a big problem in India..Hijras dont get a job and people tease them so they trouble us most of the times and beg for their living..it has become a vicious circle, till we bring acceptance we cant change anything..acceptance for everyone..whether transvestite or others with physical anomalies.

once we start accepting and give them a normal life, they will also stop being dressed over the top which gets unnecessary attention.

aneri_masi said...

Vrij, its just a vicious circle. Read Renu di's comment below, she summarizes it very well.

Kanan, indeed, there is hope :)

lightworker, i didn't know i was being derogatory. yes, it is tragic that there is still no acceptance for them :(

Aro, yes, change has to be both ways, point is, who will take the first step? them or us? Who CAN take the first step? them or us?

~mE, that is good to know! At least there is a beginning!

renuDi, am completely with you on this! exactly my sentiments when i wrote this post.