World's shortest fairy tale!

This just got forwarded :-)

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Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said: 'NO!'

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

The End

Woooohooooooo!!! We won!!!

There was an egg-cookoff at work today, and

WE WON!!!

Will post pictures and story tomorrow!

A Happy Ending :-)

To my anger management story from the previous post! :-)

I had mentioned that the guys and I had peacefully co-existed in the gym before, right?
Earlier, there used to be this one guy that I kinda know (hi-hello types), he was not there on the day of my outburst.

But, the very next day, he came to talk to me, and said, first of all, let me apologize.
Second, lets see what we can do about the situation. As you know, the space is too small.
Do you think we could adjust timings or any other suggestion you might have?

I told him I did not mind sharing the space. Not at all. Just that I was concerned of sustaining some injury if I had to constantly "brake" like that.

So he suggested, how about we bring 4-5 balls, and if one of them gets near you, you don't stop, and we'll not come to retrieve it. We'll just use another ball.

Works perfectly well for me :o) And am happy this thing got resolved nicely!

Yayyy!

How I managed my anger today!

After a very long time, I lost my temper with people I did not even know. I think I handled it well though.

For the last few weeks, I have started using the sorry excuse of a gym that my office has. I call it "sorry excuse for a gym" because it really is like that. There are about 4-5 exercise machines (as opposed to 10 of each kind in my previous office!), and a ping-pong table! Fine, whatever, it has an elliptical and thats all I need. Don't really need to get judgmental about the equipment, right?

So what happened today will be narrated in my typical style here...

I got home, hubby was already home, he asked me about my day...

M(e): लड़ाई कर के आई मैं आज (I had a fight)

H(im): Yayyy! (Thats his typical response to me getting upset :)

M: Ok, नहीं बताती, जाओ! (Won't tell you now, hmmph!)
H: अरे बताओ, बताओ. (Do tell)
M(wide eyes, and mysterious tone and all!): चार लड़के थे! (There were four guys)

H: Yayyy!

M(ignoring the yayys now): So, I went to the gym today, right. There's a ping-pong table there too. And there's this group of guys who's always playing when I go after work. Usually they are playing araam se, sometimes the ball comes my way, and I kinda slow down on my machine, they apologize and try not to do it. Today, they were playing quite rough, and within 10 minutes, the ball was under my machine at least 6 times! No apologies, nothing.

H: So who asked you to stop? If they're not courteous enough, screw them, you continue with your agenda.

M: Yeah, but its just instinct, right? You see something coming at you, and someone following it, brake to lagegi na, automatic. I don't mind sharing the space, but if I have to suddenly stop like this, with the speed I am going at, I am most probably going to injure my knees or something!

H: Yeah, I guess.

M: So then, I got frustrated and told them that I have only 10 more minutes on my program, can they play nice and easy. No response, other than the ball coming right at me again! One of them finally spoke and said, "this is our last game". Dude, nobody's asking you to stop, just be nice, will you? That bloody little ball can get right in my eye, and all you'll say is last game?! (Nah, I am too nice, I didn't say all that) I got really mad, didn't really want to scream, so I decided to just stop and leave. I stood there for a couple seconds to get back my breath, and asked them if they played everyday. No response, ufff! And then one of em decided to say, "Yep, everyday, same time!"

H: Next time, pick up the ball, put it in your pocket, and forget about them :-)

End of that conversation...am glad he didn't yayyyy again !!!

I was fuming on my way home...wondering what I should do! I don't want to stop using the gym, I don't want to change my timing, I don't mind sharing the space. So should I complain and have the table moved away?

Or should I just pocket the ball, bat my long, long lashes, give 'em a wicked smile and go back to my routine? :)

What is it with men and balls...er...I mean, men and sports anyway!!!

.

Risk

Dug up this "speech" I had done as a Toastmaster's assignment some time last year. I kinda like what I wrote, and my audience loved it too :) so thought I'd share it here....
This is the exact speech I had prepared...it had to be 3-4 minutes long, I think.

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RISK
How many of you drive above the speed limit, and risk getting a speeding ticket?
How many of you invest in stocks, and risk losing some of your hard-earned money?
And how many of you try to stay clear of the stock market, NOT wanting to risk losing your hard-earned money?

Finally, has anyone guessed what the topic of my speech is?

Today, I will talk about RISK. It is something we do everyday, be it consciously or unconsciously.

What is risk? The dictionary says: It is the possibility of suffering harm or loss.
There are two key things to focus on in this definition. One is positive, one is negative.
Lets look at the negative first, since that is what first comes to mind when we hear risk.
Can anyone tell me what this negative aspect is?

It is the bit about suffering harm or loss! There are all kinds of risks, and we stand to suffer all kinds of losses. There can be loss of money, loss of work, if we get too adventurous, then loss of an arm or a leg! We are not afraid of just real, physical losses, some times we are simply afraid of failure, of disappointment, of losing face among our peers.

Now lets look at the positive aspect. This is the part that says that there is a "possiblity" of loss. I feel the dictionary definition of this word is incomplete.
It speaks of only one possibility. It does not talk about the other possibility...that of success! It does not talk about the glory we may achieve by taking the risk.

Now that we are done with the "complete" definition of the word, lets move on to recognizing
and analyzing risks. When do we take a risk, and when do we not.

Some times, the decision is very obvious. I am afraid of water, and I don't know how to swim. It is a life-saving skill, but I feel I might die just trying to learn how to swim. I see all of you smiling, of course, this is an easy decision, I should go take lessons. Minimum chance of loss, maximum chance of benefit.

Another example of an obvious decision is, I don't know swimming, should I go on that rafting trip with my friends? Again, very obvious answer, of course not! This is the case of maximum chance of loss and minimum chance of benefit.

Then there are medium risks...the in-betweens. I don't know swimming, should I go snorkeling? People say I don't need to know swimming, but is it really worth the "risk"? These choices are a bit more difficult to make because we stand to gain just a little, and maybe if we lose, we lose just a little. Very often, we decide not to take the risk since the gain is so small.

Finally there are the big ones...with either maximum benefit or maximum loss! These are even
more difficult to make because the stakes are higher! We really need think hard before deciding about taking these or not. These are the ones that will make or break a person.

At this point I would like to steer this discussion back to the medium risks. These medium risks are quite interesting. They certainly have short term benefits...

1) More often than not, we will achieve what we are set to achieve.
2) The exhilarating feeling that comes with these small victories is just as big as it is with bigger victories!
3) If we do lose, then it is usually something we can easily take under our wing, and move on.

What is more important is the benefits that are persistent...we gain more confidence in ourselves. It helps us expand our horizons. We succeed with one low-benefit, medium risk, and we are ready to take on something slightly bigger. And then when we succeed with that, we move on to something a little more challenging. What we are seeing is steady growth in small steps!

Getting out of our comfort zone takes some risk, but the risk can be well worth it. Moving out of the comfort zone can increase the size of the comfort zone!!! The familiar may be safe and warm, but staying there too long could be to our detriment. We need to risk some uncertainty and move out of our comfort zone!!!

So the next time you encounter something that you would rather not do for fear of failure, or you think you don't have much to gain by doing it, go ahead and give yourself that chance to take a small step towards something bigger. Take that risk! Even if you don't succeed the very first time, I am sure you would have made it atleast half way to your goal.

And this first step will give you confidence to try again, and reach your goal!

Take Care Of Her, OK?

The last post got a little too serious. I need to live up to my reputation and make my readers laugh.
This one's on special request by Veens :)

So, most of you have already seen my beautiful Dhanno. This story is about her, and how she got me out of trouble, just by being herself!
If you haven't met her, go to this post: http://anerimasissoapbox.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-beautiful-baby.html and come back here!

It was one of those busy days at work where nothing really seems to go right (hmmm...that sounds more like EVERYDAY!) I got off from work, had to do a bit of shopping at the Walmart. So set off in its direction. Here's what the road looked like:



I needed to turn on Road B, but instead turned on Road A. I realized it as soon as I got on A. Ok, no problem, I can turn right back and be on my way. The signal was red at intersection C. So I stopped, noticed the "No U-Turn" sign and made a mental note. NO U-TURN. So I was waiting for the light to turn green, and chanting, no u-turn, no u-turn, no u-turn. Light turns green. I instinctively take a U-turn!

Shit!

Not just shit, Holy crap, as well! There's a cop at the intersection, right by the entrance to the gas station. I am kind of in the middle of the road, cop looks at me, I look at him. I haven't yet completed the turn, and am wondering whether I can change this u-turn into a left-turn. I try, and OH BOY, looks like I am heading straight for the cop! Cop looks totally terrified. I stop, let everyone else clear out of my way, move out of the intersection and go stop on the side. The scared cop is right beside me with a very genuine question:

C(op): Where did you want to go?

M(e): Umm..to the gas station, I was taking a left turn, I saw you, got scared and then confused, and then, you know (***now that is brilliant, girl, blame it aaaaall on him***)
Its your fault! (***Yep, I actually said that to him, don't ask me what I was thinking, coz, well, I guess I was NOT thinking!)

C: Ummm..ok (***maybe he does get blamed a lot, who knows!***). You know, you should be more careful. This is a busy intersection, you could get into an accident (***awww...the cute cop cares about me***).
You have a really nice car here, you could damage it you know! (***WHAT! Cute cop cares about Dhanno, not me***)

Well, that kind of pissed me off, I mean, how can he care more about a car than a person, right?
In the meantime, another cute cop has joined him, and they're both silently admiring Dhanno,even whispering something about her to each other.So what do y'all think I told him?

M: What? You care about the car, and not me? I mean I could get hurt in the accident, and lose a leg or something? The car can get fixed, what about me if I get hurt?

C: Ummm..yeah, that too. But you know, take care of her, ok?


Better sense prevailed, and I did not argue with him. He booked me for a very minimal offense, circled around Dhanno once more, and let me go.

How can I not love my baby? After all, "the law" asked me to take care of her :o>

NOTE: Comments about "women drivers" will not be published, so don't waste your time posting any!

Should they be allowed to get married?

This is a hot topic of discussion every now and then around the lunch table at work.

There was going to be a ruling whether California will allow gay marriages or not.
Lots of opinions were given about why they want to get married, and why the government might deny. All these were technical reasons. No one really expressed their personal opinion about the issue.

So well, I will express mine. I don't mind! Go for it, I say!

They are not freaks of nature. There have been references to homosexuals throughout history, so nothing new. Sure, they are minority, but not uncommon. Earlier it was taboo, I suppose because they were the minority and looked down upon. Even now, people are afraid to "come out of the closet" because society is not very accepting of them. Some people are so hateful towards them, that there have been incidents where a gay person was beaten to death. Someone might say, so why now? They lived in their closet so far, stay there. Well, there are women's rights, animal rights, so why should they not have rights that a "normal" couple has?

People want to marry for all kinds of reasons.

• They have religious reasons, they want to live together, but do not want to "live in sin".
• Their family wants them to get married (otherwise they are not "settled" enough, they say, rolling my eyes at that, stomping my foot and all)
• They want to have a family, and want to be married for that reason.
• They want to have the legal benefits that married couples have
• They want that sense of security and commitment that marriage brings.
  

Whatever it might be, all these reasons apply to gays as well as to straights.

One person here said that they want to get married so that they can adopt kids. I pointed out that being married is not a pre-requisite to having kids, adopted or not. He said, nah, not allowed. I presented him with the case of Brangelina, who have quite an international team building up there. (And I love that they love the kids so much!). In fact Angelina was single when she adopted the first couple kids.

So then he countered with, wellll....you know, I wonder whether gay couples should be allowed to adopt/have kids or not. The kid will have so much trouble growing up. Kids in school will laugh at them, they will not be able to understand the situation, etc. My response to this was, so you think all these kids that do end up messed up have had gay parents? Straight folks can mess up a child's life just as much! So many straight folks have "accidental" children when they have no clue what to do with the child. At least in this case, the parents are fully aware of what they are doing, why they are doing it, its quite a painful process for them to get pregnant or adopt. They do it because they "really want to", not simply because their kid is "भगवान् की देन" or "उपरवाले की इच्छा"!

I agree that the kids of gay parents will have more than their fair share of ridiculing while growing up, but it is up to the parents to teach them and prepare them for such behavior। They will need to make them aware of the possible hostility they will face, but if the parents love their child, raise him to be a good, responsible person, the kid will love them regardless of their orientation.

I personally know of two such couples. One of the couples tried to have a baby (IVF, I suppose), when that didn't work out, they are going for adoption. They so desperately want a child, I hope they can adopt soon.

The way I look at it, there are two people who want to spend their lives together, set up a nice home and raise a family. They live very normal lives, do normal jobs, eat and sleep like we do, are exceptionally creative (you gotta see their Halloween Parade, man, they are AWESOME!), they do not bother us "straights" in any way, they are not denying us anything, not stopping us from doing anything. Most are very peaceful people, so why are we interfering in their lives? Who are we to judge what they can or cannot do.

And they are living together, raising kids, all of that anyway, so why not let them get married? Makes no sense to me *scratching-my-head*. क्या फ़र्क पड़ेगा? Just let them sign that piece of paper!

I don't know what the ruling of the case was. Must have been denied, else there would have been quite an uproar about it. I do hope they win at some point!

They are just people, you know, just like you and me!