Friday, May 2, 2008

Thou shalt not crib!

Sourish has written a more in depth article about this...he calls is Acedia, I call it, in layman's terms "cribbing".

It is pretty amazing how Bloggerville kicks me in the butt and makes me "see" things every time I crib or feel bad about something petty! Its almost like some blogger friend or the other has some telepathic (spelling??) connection to me, and puts up something more hard-hitting that tells me, chup kar!

A couple weeks ago I was feeling really low that all we ever do is fix up the house (there's still a lot of work remaining), we haven't gone out of town even for a weekend. Created quite a ruckus. And Samby put up his post of how passionately he wants to join the army, and cannot. Cry baby had to admit, his issue was bigger!

I can absolutely not tolerate noise and chaos. My office is always bustling with activity. I love everyone here a LOT, couldn't ask for a nicer bunch of colleagues, but at the end of the day, I just want to shut myself up somewhere and not talk to anyone for at least an hour! Was telling this to the hubby the other day, and he lost his patience with me, saying, You seem to have a problem with everything, you like nothing! I took it to heart and did not talk to him for two days , and...well I felt terrible about it. Because I DO NOT complain that much! I am always trying to make fun of things (I mean, come on, read my posts, did y'all not laugh??) and trying not to take stuff personally and all. I felt really bad, and once that starts, the ball gets rolling, and I end up feeling bad about pretty much everything about my life. And then Sourish had to put up this post hate noise he says (well, he didn't really say that to me, know), here, look at this family, a bomb ripped through their home! You feel you are misunderstood? Look at this little boy who they thought was stealing and is in prison since a long time. Cry baby had to admit again, there is some REAL pain out there!

I sometimes feel lonely with no family here and very few friends who are caught up in their own lives (and so am I). My sister lives with her extended family, and I sometimes feel, I wish I was in her shoes. Well, no, not really. Here's why...Everyone remembers the super treat I got on my birthday, right? My sister's birthday was just 4 days after mine, and she did not even get to go out for dinner because her sis-in-law said, "nah, too expensive". Cry baby had to admit, her life is quite good indeed!

All that said, I think I am a pretty cheerful person overall. I try to cheer things up around me as much as I can. When someone says something nasty to me, I feel hurt and lost...about "what did I do wrong to deserve this". Sometimes I am grouchy (usually when I am hungry and/or tired), sometimes I am unreasonable (usually when there is too much noise, especially the chewing kind) Overall I think I am a good soul, but I suppose there is some room for improvement. And Bloggerville's helping :) Thank you all for putting things in the right perspective for me!

I shalt not crib!!! promises, but I will try! I promise to try!

Wanted to add...
A few months ago, I used to write down at least 5 things I am grateful for everyday. Some things got repeated (like my friends and my cameras because they bring me so much joy). Don't know why I stopped doing it. It used to make me feel much happier through out the day, since I actually took time to figure out what is "good" about my life. The process itself cheered me up so much! I think I will start putting my list everyday on my blog.

Image credit to: Helen Bae Photography


τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...


Didi arrreee waah...
chalo mere post ne kuchh toh positive change kiya appki life mein...maine likha bhi isko isi liye coz main har dusre blog par I see person cribbing on some really petty issues

I really liked ur courage for admitting all this..pareshani toh harek ki jindagi mein hai.. par unn pareshaniyo ko pakad k rote rehna makes life more difficult...but u ain't a cry baby.. u to meri sweeeetty pie didi ho


Anonymous said...

Evry one say ki dusre ke problems dekho and then u will feel uyr problems are smaller..i dnt believe in that..sab ka problem apne ko bada dikhta hai... when u leve ur problems and look at other ur just ignoring ur own probs ans tryin to feel better... hey i lost one leg...but he lost 2 of lucky..yeah fine it gives temp relief but thts not the way... wow... samby is nt able to join army...and i cant fix up my house... i dnt have the love u have for ur i cant understand that and u dnt have my passion for fauj so u cant understand mine... har pange ko solve karo... ccry babay ho to raho..koi panga nahi hai rone me... par rote hu baithoo mat... ro..lekin aage badte chale jao... aur kisi ek baat ke liye bas ek bar roke khatam karo.... use rona bolte hai..roj ek hi baat pe ro ge to crinbbing ho jayega..

Anonymous said...

You know what.. u r right@!

But yaar...however I try I just can't STOP cribbing.


Don't you worry... yu r the cheerful--lest person.. I have as a friend... I mean .. u can actually make my day... which u do .. with yur posts I mean... so I gues... crib or no-crib.. i like u the way u r!! 101%

now does that make u smile? no...

ok :(

i tried u knw..

nw smile girl :)

anamika said...

You updated your pic again. This is a very nice pic. I like the lipstick shade. which one is it?

Ankur said...

haha... we all do tat, but thou shalt I!!! :D :D


Vrij said...

I so agree with u reg blogville.. whenever I'm a certain state of mind, and think about it too much.. there's someone on my blogroll who's written a post abt the very same point/emotion.. and its just that small thing that lets my mind say.. cool off!

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

There is a song foru in my blog..hear it and read the lyrics too simultaneously..
u will feel good

aneri_masi said...

@sourish, arey, am trying to overcome this "vice" of making a big deal out of things for a while now. Am a LOT better now than about 6 months ago. So am not feeling bad as such, will listen to the song for sure...

@samby, hope you did not feel bad that I took your example.
Well, I am not comparing losing one leg against two. I am comparing something as trivial as breaking a nail against losing a leg. When I gave your example, I was comparing what I was unable to do (go out for the weekend) against what you were unable to do (choose the career path that you want). It is the matter of comparing trivial things against matters that make your life. And you read my "crib" wrong. I am fed up of fixing the house all the time. Thats ALL we have been doing since God knows when. I need a break, but nahi milti :(

And you're right about the difference between rona and cribbing. Am not against feeling bad and crying. Am against doing it everyday!

@veens, yep, you made me smile, big time, hehe :) Like I said to sourish, was not feeling bad as such when I wrote the post, just thoughts flowing...but yes, you did make me smile :)

@ana, its either Vixen from Victoria's Secret or Revlon Hot Fudge (No. 865). Hey, will email you in a couple days, ok?

@ankur, all I have to say to you is, a big fat, :P

@vrij, hai na, ekdum telepathy? Even if its not something related to my rant, there's always something that helps me put things into perspective.

That said, I read so many posts about "issues" both global and personal, that I try my best to write something that will cheer people up! I hope I have been successful in that :) And I hope my chhoti chhoti khushiyaan have not made anyone else feel worse about their life :(

Ankur said...

hahha... :D :D

and i must say...

Lier Lier ... :P :P


aneri_masi said...

@ankur, yeh dekho, hum serious hoke "issues" ke baare mein post likhte hain, you still laughing. :) Once a joker, always a joker, haha :) Good, am glad about that.
Hey, added a small update to the post, padh lo.

Cinderella. said...

DI agree with here on each and every word !
Ekdam sahi. Always you find some or the other thing that you can relate to, and then suddenly you begin feeling better.
Its nice being around people who really soothe your sense. So what if its a virtual world.

And yeah, sometimes I feel my girlie mushy posts might depress someone. Fir sochti hu, ke depression q, everyone deserves happiness, and so shall we get.
Dunno if I'm right or wrong.
I wish to hurt no one.

Ankur said...

well.. its always small things which make us happy ... (update part)

and haha... seriously :D :D
well... u know wat, i have changed a lot after being single again yaa... and nowdays i too crib a lot :(

may be coz i miss those days more often than not *sigh*

but i guess i have to live!!! :D

aneri_masi said...

@sourish, hey listened to the song, mast hai. thanks :)

@Ella, I guess we do what we feel right, and what makes us happy. Can't always guarantee everyone else's happiness, right?

@ankur, well, I think you are entitled to your cribbing. It is a "life-changing event". But I know that this will pass too, and you will be your usual cheerful self. Maybe a bit more guarded in what you say and do, but still cheerful. And btw, maine to ab tak ek bhi rant nahi suni tumse, so whatcha talking about?

Yes, you have to live. How you live, that depends upon your attitude!

Ria said...

Hmm now thts a difficult promise to keep!but never the less not impossible. :) i think even i shud make a promise to myself for the same.

Macadamia The Nut said...

I think there's a term for what people like you are - Human.
Seriously babe, rant when you want to. Part of life. As long as it doesn't do harm to another person, whats the big deal?

Cinderella. said...

Hmm..aap bhi sahi ho...
Guess its just better to stop thinking so much and follow your heart.
The intentions were never negative anyway.

aneri_masi said...

@ria, yeah, its impossible 100% of the time, but reduction is definitely possible.

@mac, You're right as well. But, this human used to complain 24x7 about something or the other (this one did this to me, that one did that to me, i don't have this, i don't have that, etc). Ranting is never wrong, but it shouldn't start to feel like real big issues, my post was more about getting things into perspective I guess. A problem is definitely a problem, but how big do you make it look is the question.

@Ella, right! If someone gets offended or depressed by what you write, then they'll probably stop visiting your blog. Thats all!

Anjuli said...

arrey cribbing is okay at times, chata hai, we are humans re...

and about writing the five things...great idea..

Solitaire said...

I have written several posts time and again on how one should not crib because there are people out there who have worse lives than us. Sometimes, I do wake up in the morning groaning and moaning about how hectic my life is and how fed up I am of working so hard. And then I go meet my clients and instantly kick myself for being so whiny. My profession teaches me every single day how grateful I should be for what I have. Maybe your "5 things" concept is your reminder!! At the same time, no matter how big others' problems are, our problems do cause us stress so its ok to whine and crib once in a while. Dil halka ho jaata hai.

aneri_masi said...

@anjuli, sol, Yeah, I agree...its perfectly okay to rant and feel bad about our situation. But, like samby pointed out, we shouldn't do it all the time, we need to take action! Otherwise, its just time wasted (ours as well as of those listening to us!) in complaining, nothing else!

Pavi!!!! said...

Yeah...i agree...its abt having the rite perspective... i so often cry for li'l things...but its not the end of the wrld...i cant promise to NEVER CRIB..thts kinda hard to do...but i do Thank the Lord for how blessed i am everyday!

Cinderella. said...

Just dropped in to say hi ! YOu and jeej's good na ?
Pata chala weekend bahut busy hai aapka. Busy with setting up the waterfall, eh ? ;)
Update karo na...long time...

aneri_masi said...

@Ella, yeah, just another routine "weekend"! Bought a few plants, and wanted to buy some tools, but the store didn't have what we wanted. Oranges tode (7 dozen!), stuff like that...just eats up all the time. Update karne ko kuch interesting nahi hai abhi :(

Keshi said...

Wut an encouraging and positive post Aneri. Very well-written.

U know, I was gonna write along the same lines for my next post :) I will. Cos there's a big secret behind my 'happiness' that's burying the 'sadness' that my life is. I wanna share it with everyone so that someone out there will benefit from it.

MWAH u rock hun!


Anonymous said...

Hi masiji... I love ya.. dropping in to say Hiiii ...:-)

Ankur said...

no post... no updates??? kahan ho aap???

weekend par sirf enjoy kar rahe the kya???

waise woh review ka kya hua???

check out my cousins pic on my blog :D


Ankur said...

yeh ladka hai.. :D :D

waise itna saara kaam.. baap re baap :(

and baigan bharta is my fav... yaad kyon dila di... meri mom nahi banati hai :(((((((
coz humare yahan par baigan nahi khate hain na itna :(

par i wanna eat now *sigh*

haan.. woh maine dekha aadha... isliye toh poocha... chalo acha hai... kal pura kar dena :D

waise 12.13 :O :O

night owl :P :P

P.S. hows he n u feelin now?

Pri said...

umm now thats one inspiring post! :)
yes i agree we should all learn to count our blessings!
its okay to crib once in a while i guess to vent out but we shouldent make it a regular habit :(
then thngs get boring and then the negative attitude :(

thats a very good idea about posting up things u r grateful to have in ur life :)
il'l be happy just thinking about it i guess and then will be too busy dreaming to list it down!!

keep rocking!

Enigma said...

heheh u dont hav to worry most of us are like this...hey but u sound so similar like me...whic star sign are u??

--xh-- said...

yup..sometimes it takes some one to hit us wth a hammer to show us the relities... and still we crib... good post,aner...

Anonymous said...

candid post Kashmira. U had courage to accept few not so good things abt urself, but thats fine.

chaddo !!!

ek changa tag likho!!! come check my blog!!

and esimile puhleeeez!!!!!

aneri_masi said...

@enigma, I'm an Arian. You?
Had my birthday a couple weeks ago, there's a post about it somewhere here...

@xh, thanks :) Do check out my new blog.

@ashu, check out my new blog. I started writing it in the morning, and man, it completely changed how my day looks to me today! Have this stoopid smile on my face!
On my way to your blog to check out the tag.