Sourish has written a more in depth article about this...he calls is Acedia, I call it, in layman's terms "cribbing".
It is pretty amazing how Bloggerville kicks me in the butt and makes me "see" things every time I crib or feel bad about something petty! Its almost like some blogger friend or the other has some telepathic (spelling??) connection to me, and puts up something more hard-hitting that tells me, chup kar!
A couple weeks ago I was feeling really low that all we ever do is fix up the house (there's still a lot of work remaining), we haven't gone out of town even for a weekend. Created quite a ruckus. And Samby put up his post of how passionately he wants to join the army, and cannot. Cry baby had to admit, his issue was bigger!
I can absolutely not tolerate noise and chaos. My office is always bustling with activity. I love everyone here a LOT, couldn't ask for a nicer bunch of colleagues, but at the end of the day, I just want to shut myself up somewhere and not talk to anyone for at least an hour! Was telling this to the hubby the other day, and he lost his patience with me, saying, You seem to have a problem with everything, you like nothing! I took it to heart and did not talk to him for two days , and...well I felt terrible about it. Because I DO NOT complain that much! I am always trying to make fun of things (I mean, come on, read my posts, did y'all not laugh??) and trying not to take stuff personally and all. I felt really bad, and once that starts, the ball gets rolling, and I end up feeling bad about pretty much everything about my life. And then Sourish had to put up this post today...you hate noise he says (well, he didn't really say that to me, but...you know), here, look at this family, a bomb ripped through their home! You feel you are misunderstood? Look at this little boy who they thought was stealing and is in prison since a long time. Cry baby had to admit again, there is some REAL pain out there!
I sometimes feel lonely with no family here and very few friends who are caught up in their own lives (and so am I). My sister lives with her extended family, and I sometimes feel, I wish I was in her shoes. Well, no, not really. Here's why...Everyone remembers the super treat I got on my birthday, right? My sister's birthday was just 4 days after mine, and she did not even get to go out for dinner because her sis-in-law said, "nah, too expensive". Cry baby had to admit, her life is quite good indeed!
All that said, I think I am a pretty cheerful person overall. I try to cheer things up around me as much as I can. When someone says something nasty to me, I feel hurt and lost...about "what did I do wrong to deserve this". Sometimes I am grouchy (usually when I am hungry and/or tired), sometimes I am unreasonable (usually when there is too much noise, especially the chewing kind) Overall I think I am a good soul, but I suppose there is some room for improvement. And Bloggerville's helping :) Thank you all for putting things in the right perspective for me!
I shalt not crib!!! Well....no promises, but I will try! I promise to try!
Wanted to add...
A few months ago, I used to write down at least 5 things I am grateful for everyday. Some things got repeated (like my friends and my cameras because they bring me so much joy). Don't know why I stopped doing it. It used to make me feel much happier through out the day, since I actually took time to figure out what is "good" about my life. The process itself cheered me up so much! I think I will start putting my list everyday on my blog.
Image credit to: Helen Bae Photography
2 years ago